Stoned
by Mbwun
Summary: Devlin Stone approaches the Successor Lords with a little proposal... i.e., what they *really* said to The Republic of the Sphere idea.


Well, if it wasn't made clear by the destruction of The Republic of the Sphere in my stories "Ashes" and "Once More Unto the Breach" (sorry, shameless self-advertisement), I hate The Republic and Devlin Stone and all they stand for.  So.  Here it is, what really would have happened when Devlin Stone told the Successor Lords what he wanted for leading the counterattack against Word of Blake . . . Hilton Head Island, Terra 

**Terran Corridor**

**August 10, 3078**

Devlin Stone smiled broadly at his assembled guests, the lords of the Great Houses and the Clans.  "It is done!" he said with great emphasis.  "Word of Blake is no more!  We live in freedom!"

       "Look," said Archon Peter Steiner, "what I want to know is how the hell this all happened.  I mean—Word of Blake?  Really, how'd that happen?  One day they're just a little revolutionary group, bitchy and sometimes annoying but really not much of a threat.  Next time you look, they're running around nuking everybody and their brother.  What's up with that?"

       "Someone ought to have turned Terra into nuclear toast," observed Coordinator Theodore Kurita.  "Well, at least we don't have to deal with House Marik anymore.  Some good things came out of this—was anyone else weirded out by those Free Worlders?"

       "Oh," said Victor Steiner-Davion, once more Precentor Martial of ComStar, "but we never got to find out who Thomas really was!"  When everyone turned to look at him, he blushed.  "Whoops.  Forgot you guys didn't know about that."

       "What is he talking about?" Devlin Stone asked.  "Forget whose fault this is.  The important thing is—"

       "Shit, Victor, you knew Thomas Marik wasn't Thomas Marik and you never _told_ us?!" Theodore demanded.  Victor shrugged.

       "Sorry.  I didn't know what good it would do.  I mean, it's not like I found it out under the best of circumstances . . ."

       "Huh?" asked Khan Vladimir Ward.  "I am sorry, I am so full of myself that I cannot bother to keep up with Inner Sphere politics.  Just _who_ exactly is Thomas Marik again?"

       Marthe Pryde slapped Vlad in the back of the head.  "Be quiet, you.  The Wolves just have not been the same since you managed to weasel Ulric out of his rightful place."

       "That was _your_ Clan, Pryde," Vlad snarled.

       "I challenge you to a Trial of Refusal!"

       "And I accept!"  They stalked out of the room, to beat each other senseless in the hallway.

       "Any_way_!" Stone shouted, getting everyone's attention.  "Back to the important stuff.  Now that I've saved y'all from the Wobblies—"

       "Couldn't have done it without me," said Victor.

       "Or me!" said Kai Allard-Liao.

       "Or me, for that matter," said Theodore.

       "Do not forget the contributions of Clan Ghost Bear."

       "Nor the Taurian Concordat."

       They all turned around.  "The Taurians are here?  How the hell did _that_ happen?"

       "Sorry, buddy," said Victor, "this meeting is for Great Houses _only_.  You can catch the minor players meeting tomorrow with the rest of the Periphery.  And the Wolves and the Jade Falcons, once they get done destroying each other."

       "_They have nukes, lots and lots of nukes_," Theodore whispered in Victor's ear.  Victor smiled.

       "Well, then by all means, please, stay!"

       "Hey!  I'm talking!" Stone said.  "So the point is, I saved you guys.  Yeah?  Yeah.  So what I'm going to need is everyone to cede control of every planet within fifty-ish light-years of Terra to my control.  I'll call my new government The Republic of the Sphere.  And we'll call it a republic, but actually, it'll be a military dictatorship.  And after that, I'm gonna have to ask you all to severely reduce your BattleMech forces.  Never mind that the next time some assholes like the Wobblies attack us we're gonna get reamed.  None of you will be able to sack _me_, and really, that's all that matters."

       "Hang on a sec here," said Sun-Tzu.  "I just finally got back all of the Confederation's rightful worlds, worlds that my piss-poor nation haven't controlled since the Fourth Succession War, and you tell me I have to give 'em to _you_?"

       "Really," said Yvonne Davion, holding the hand of her love slave Tancred, "why exactly do we owe you this?"

       "Because I led the counterattack against Word of Blake!" Stone whined.

       "With our troops," Theodore said.

       "Well, I simply won't stand for this," Sun-Tzu said.

       "Yeah," said Stone, "I knew you'd say that.  We'll have to fight a war with him.  Sorry, Kai, you don't make it out of that one.  A lot more people die, in fact, so I can live out my megalomaniac dreams."

       "What?" Kai demanded.

       "Hang on, Kai, you know I wouldn't let him ditch you like that," Victor said.  He glanced at Stone.  "Uh, why do you want to start _another_ war?  I thought you suffered enough for all of us in the last one."

       "What can I say, I'm a sadist."  Stone grimaced.  "Sorry, Victor, one of your sons dies, too."

       " '_One_ of my sons?' " Victor repeated.  "I have more than one?"  He looked to Theodore.  "How many of my kids _do_ you have hidden away, Teddy?"

       This time it was Kurita who blushed.  "Oh, there're one or two I can think of . . ."

       "Hey, hey, dumbass," said Sun-Tzu, to Stone.  "Just what made you think we'd go along with this?  It's idiotic!  Why don't we just reform the Star League?"

       "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Peter agreed.

       "But hey!  What about my Republic?"

       "Shut up, Stone," said Theodore.

       The lord of the Taurian Concordat opened his mouth to speak but, upon receiving a warning glare from Victor, thought better of it.

       "Stone," said Kai, "I mean, we've had some good times, right?  But you've got to be one crazy son of a bitch if you think we're going to make you into a miniature Word of Blake.  Which kind of brings me back to the subject of why we didn't just glaze Terra."

       "What about me?" asked Stone.

       "Yeah," said Victor, "what _about_ him?"  He looked around at blankly staring faces.  "Jesus," he grumbled, "am I _always_ the one who has to deal with these bastards?  Well, _o_kay.  Tiarat."  He pointed.  "Kill."

       The Elemental nodded solemnly, silencing Devlin Stone's final whimper at birth.  Victor turned back toward the heated debate that had started between Kai, Sun-Tzu, Peter, and Theodore.  Yvonne glanced at Tancred and discreetly hauled him out the back door.

       "Let's face it," Victor said, "it's really all of our faults, partly, but I'm more inclined to blame Thomas for it, mostly because he's dead and thus not here to defend himself."

       "Victor," said Theodore, "I can't _believe_ you didn't tell us that Thomas Marik wasn't Thomas Marik!"


End file.
